Whoa there tiger!

Can we say new skills?! As of late Elliot is strong like bull! He is a little crawdad. He pushes himself backwards to get his knees under him. When he does this we slip our hand under his belly and he rocks back and forth in fast forward--he is thrilled to do this, his little heart pounding and screams of joy.
He sits rather well, I'm shocked at how good he is at it and at correcting himself when he's about to fall. He loves to be standing--if only to jump :) I think walking is far in the future as his platform (feet) are like little china doll feet. He has nothing to balance on!
He is still unpredictable though I am much better at reading his signs. I know what tired is. I know what hungry is. I know happy, bored, frustrated.
He has been making the "Maaaamaaaaa" sounds and although I'd love to think he was calling me "Mama" I know that it's less that and more so that he is hungry. In a way he is calling for me as I am the one who has the food.
A bit on that note:
We are still struggling with nursing even at close to 6 months. The past two weeks have been awful. He gets so much gas in the form of burps that he can't eat. Every time I burp him he cries and fusses and tries to latch back on only to pull right off, as who can eat with a tummy full of air? It just kills me. The burps are so big and deep and numerous. Also, more spit up lately.
I have been completely off dairy for months and now it looks like we've got to keep digging for the answer...what am I eating that's bothering Elliot's tummy?
I am so frustrated. Nursing takes FOREVER as I try to get enough milk into him. When he's not writhing with gas he's too fascinated with EVERYTHING in the room to be able to focus on eating. I literally have to go into a dark room and cover up anything of interest. Even a glass of water is too cool for Elliot to miss. It needs exploring.
I am in a tough spot too as Elliot could not be more captivated by food and what goes into Mommy and Daddy's mouths. He KNOWS. I want to start solids because I feel I have no choice. That kid wants to eat our food more than anything else on earth. I can't eat anything around him or he grabs and fusses to get to it. Gone are the mornings of my organic waffles and tea...sigh...
What some people don't realize is that if a baby already has a reaction to breastmilk (ie: what the mother is eating) than when solids are introduced, this reaction might well become much worse as the child is already susceptible to food sensitivities. SOooooo...the problem can get much worse and cause all kinds of rashes, more gas, more discomfort, more frustration for baby and mama.
James and I are going to do what we've been trying to avoid--baby blood test for food sensitivities. Ugh. Maybe it will give us a place to start.
So on to sleep:
What sleep? Well, Elliot is getting better at naps and worse at nighttime sleep. There is no linear pattern to his progress. Last night he woke after 2 hours and then after another 4 1/2. Then he only slept 1.5 hours from 3:30 to 7:15. That whole time he was babbling and rolling and Mommy was listening to the monitor. We are tired.
He wakes almost everyday in the 5's. Yes, in the 5 AM hour. He sometimes goes to the six's, and RARELY the 7's. He only sleeps later if he's been up for many hours in the middle of the night.
For all of the marks I was looking forward to, the 6 month mark was the one I was most excited about. Many babies begin to sleep through the night at this point due to a more mature nervous system and a burst of melatonin much like they had when they were first born. Well, it's 8 days until 6 months...and melatonin has yet to rear it's beautiful head.
Oh, just something cute I thought I'd mention in relation to the "talking" I wrote of earlier: James has been working with Elliot for months on saying, "Daaadaaaa," I have also helped him learn to say "Dada." I haven't worked much, if at all on "Maaamaaa" and it came first. Even though it just means "hungry" to Elliot--it doesn't hurt to hear it...and you know, I deserve it. ;)

Random

Elliot hates schedules. Mommy LOVES them and always has. God looked at Mommy and said, "Here you go (God hands ELliot to me) learn a lesson in giving up control...
Yes, Elliot is everything but predictable. There is no set nap time, nurse time, play time, etc. We just go with it. I TRY to get some semblance of a schedule and it goes kablooee pretty fast. I do still attempt these control efforts in the hope that as he gets older we'll know just a tad bit more when the best time to go out or have company over might be. Again, the key word here is, attempt.

Ok--so much to say. Elliot is so smart. He is an everything in is mouth baby now. I used to pump while he was nursing--no more. He goes for the pump, pump bottle, and hose as if it were baby crack.
Excuse the crudeness here but other things that are "baby crack" are as follows:

FEET ( is there anything better?)
The new wooden rattle
The Dogs --Especially Linus--we have two black lab mixes who Elliot thinks are hysterical! And they love and protect him. Linus will put up with all sorts of high pitched screams and hair pulling just to be with Elliot. Sometimes dogs just know...
Kisses on the face
Daddy's songs
Mommy's songs
Having mommy blow in his face--yes, you'd think he wouldn't enjoy this but he adores it.

He is sitting rather well and rolling like a rolling pin. He is definitely more aware of when mommy or Daddy leaves the room. If he is in the swing and we leave just for a second, he is obviously not thrilled.
He does fuss more because he can tell us now what he is into and not so into.
I keep reminding myself to stay present--to soak in each moment (even in the middle of the night). He will not be a baby forever. It's hard to imagine. It's more and more real when I see how he's progressing.
As a parent you finally understand the LOVE of a parent the capacity for that love. The fact that your child is EVERYTHING to you and that you would put them before you in a heartbeat.
On another note: ELLIOT IS SO STRONG!
He will reach out and literally RIP YOUR FACE OFF! Watch out. At first you think, "oh, how cute, he's reaching for my lip...and then you're crying.
He's recently been chomping down REALLY hard while nursing. A few of these bites have sent me screaming and frightening him. I have to reassure him I'm fine--but tell him to be gentle because it hurts mommy. I find I'm scared of nursing now because this is happening so often. The jaw is very, very strong I am here to tell you.
I am feeling pretty bad physically. Not getting into it here, but all the issues I had before are now very much more pronounced. It is tough. My doc thinks much will get a bit better when I wean as more nutrition will come my way (as opposed to into my breast milk) and I might get more sleep. I am in no rush to wean. I want what Elliot wants.
Soooo...a quick note on sleep. Elliot is learning and getting a bit better. He seems to have a better understanding that sleep is what is supposed to be happening at certain times. I will take all improvements and be glad that they are coming--nomatter how slowly.
I freakin' love this kid.

Elliot is growing up fast! It's so wonderful to watch how deliberate his movements are--especially when they involve placing feet in mouth (his favorite thing to do)). Try putting a diaper on a baby who won't remove his toes from his mouth!
He is showing off more rolling skills. Also sitting with one or no hands (for brief periods). He squeals a high pitch squeal when he approves of things. His crinkled up nose smiles are the best--especially in the morning.
We've been going to the neighborhood pool and he loves it. He loves to splash and even more so, to watch the older kids playing. I can't believe he'll one day be those older kids! Ugh, let's not talk about that anymore, it makes my heart hurt!
Yesterday at the pool James was pulling Elliot through the water (on top of it) and Elliot was kicking like a little froggie. I know he'll be just like James in his love of the water. I enjoy the water--but I'm a land lover at heart :).
In just two days Elliot will be 5 months old! It's unreal how fast is truly goes by...

Rough and Tumble and the Good stuff

All I want to say about the sleep thing is that it is still quite rough. We have our good times, but much of it is a struggle. Ahhhh...sleep. I am obsessed with the thought of it. Elliot and I both need it.
Elliot is a fabulous little creature. He can sit up much better now (using his arms for support). He sometimes lifts one off the floor and he looks like he's riding a bull! It's too funny!
He can roll both ways now, but we don't see the roll from the back to the belly that often--he likes to do it in his crib or when we look away for a brief second.
He is a thumb sucker-which is nice because he'll never loose it like he might a pacifier.
He is the best to wake up to in the morning. I come in and say "good morning baby!" as I open the blinds. He lifts up on his arms (as he's rolled to his belly by now) and he smiles a HUGE smile. I kiss him all over his face and he squeals with glee. Then we change and play.
I love him too much for words and I can't wait to see what new things he'll do each day.

Uncle Chris!

Yay, a visit from Elliot's Uncle!
They both had a blast

I am truly amazed at a mother's ability to stay awake and care for her young despite what is some of the most baffling sleep deprivation. I love my little guy so much. Hope we'll figure this sleep thing out soon.
On another note, Elliot continues to amaze me. He is so much fun and so trusting. On one hand I can't believe how much time has past and on another, this all seems like a blip.
His new favorite game is where I raise both his arms and kiss his tiny triceps and armpits! He squeals with glee and laughs big belly laughs! That is SO FULFILLING! It takes my breath away.